Today is June 3rd, 2011, and I will begin using this blog to post the powerful dreams I have in the night. They are intense & spiritually guiding and honestly I'm not quite sure why I am so honored to have them. (maybe it is my warrior spirit-smile) Before I tell you about this particular dream, let me tell you what occurred before going to sleep. I found myself really questioning my decision to go public with the journey I have experienced ( i.e. my book) knowing the grief I will receive by many & the ostracization of others (despite being told by so many to write.) . I went outside & stood under the stars with my arms up to the heavens looking up into the star filled night asking for strength & understanding. I thanked all the Native elders & warriors in the dreamtime for what they have shown me, but then asked them why if people (even Native Americans) are going to have such a hard time with what I revealed. What's the point? After a few minutes of silence & humility I thanked them, with my usual "Wakan Tanka (Great Spirit) Pilamayaaye (thank you) -hanhepi waste (good night)"and went inside to go to sleep. In the late of night, this is what I dreamed.
"I am in a hotel room with very high ceilings. My husband is sitting on a strange tiny little shelf high above & my son standing in the corner. I am standing on the top of a dresser. In front of me is a HUGE grizzly bear - angry at me. He lunges at me, growling at the same time. I'm not afraid initially for I see him all the time, but this time he grabs my arm with his teeth and holds it for a moment. Then the realization that I'm about to die goes through my head. I could tell my husband was very afraid, so I leaned my head around the bear to say "don't worry honey, I am happy. This is a good death. It is the way I've wanted to die all along anyway." The bear lets my arm go and I can't believe how big his head is. I look down in a non-threatening manner out of the gaze of his eyes & the bear slowly walks away. I climbed up onto something taller and the bear turns back to me trying to reach me once again. The bear and I stare at one another and then he leaves."
Wow, what a powerful reminder to me to not care what anyone thinks or believes of my story. I have the fierce grizzly as my totem & warriors on the other side with me all the time regardless of the world around me. Nothing can change that! I need to have faith in them and my self. When I woke up, I walked over to the powerful pouch I made, with a fossilized bear tooth I found the day after a powerful bear dream, a bear claw from a bear I skinned while (5) months pregnant with my son & deer toes on a piece of brain tanned hide I had tanned yrs prior & put it proudly around my neck. My soul is a native warrior and I will never question that again. The bear reminded me of that. Kerrie
