I'm sure everybody has a different definition for what they call or feel as love and for every relationship love may be felt in different ways, whether it be love of a spouse, love of a child, love of a pet, love of a coworker, and on and on. I believe Universal love is a love from the soul that never goes away despite everything that has occurred in the relationship. It forces you to learn how to forgive whether you want to or not, because the love doesn't die despite the fact you wished it would so there's no point on holding on to a grudge. It's a love that carries through time and space and if you were to be honest with yourself, it's always there for that person, place (Moab and Cameron Pass for me ) or thing (the wilderness and Native American dances ). At times, the love makes your heart ache when you can't be with the person or place that creates that total Love, but when it is fulfilled it makes you feel at One with the Universe. A Going Home of Sorts. Unfortunately, many times the one you experience Universal Love with engages in very negative behavior against one self, ultimately hurting you as well. This is what causes the heart to ache because you know, you can not engage in that behavior nor can you be around it, cause one has to stay in the light as hope for the relationship. First you have to help yourself, before you can help others and helping others means not enabling the self destructive behavior of your loved one. It means staying strong and true to yourself, so you can be a beacon of light for the loved one lost out in the ocean of life and having the courage to say what needs to be said-whether they like it or not, but always reminding them of how much you love them ..No matter what!
That said, there are many days life really breaks my heart. Surviving the loss of my Uncle Maury, my horse Espau and Michael were a few things of the past that nearly did me in, but nothing hurts me more now than when one of my children are experiencing a very hard life lesson, such as when my daughter stops exercising and gets really depressed and down on herself. I can love her heart and soul, but she has to be the one that decides to help herself and make herself get up and go to the gym or for a jog to kick in the endorphins or my son dealing with two very painful hips, despite two surgeries which ended his sports career when all his friends are at their practices, but Maury is not. All I can do is support them and be there for them, but they have to do the work to heal themselves. Another trigger that takes me down is watching the gas & oil rigs go in everywhere for "fracking", further destroying every ounce of land and ocean we have with chemicals, ALL DUE to GREED with very few having the courage to stand up to them and saying "HELL NO!!!" I do. I give them HELL all the time. I will gladly go to jail defending our property against those parasites to the planet. They do not have one ounce of regard or respect to the earth or accountability for their actions by the government despite the poisoning over and over.
Many times I go to bed so weary, I'm unsure I'll wake up in the mornings, sometimes hoping my spirit takes the Journey so I don't have to wake up and witness what we are doing to the earth another day or feel the loss of my soulmate. Often times on those nights, much to my grace, a Divine Spirit visits me while I'm asleep. The Spirit often comes in the form of Michael (though now I question whether it is His spirit or a Higher Spirit taking the form of Michael to comfort me) that embraces me with so much Pure Love, that it literally flows through my entire being with Light, refreshing my spirit to face another day. I wake up in the morning with a peace in my heart and strength I felt was gone when I went to the bed the night before. There are often very kind words spoken between us that somehow soothes my spirit and gives it strength to walk the earth one more day.
I often think my existence would be so much easier if I were like the majority of folks who only worry about how fancy their house is, or what kinds of shoes they should buy, or what party they will be going to next weekend, or how much money their husband makes vs. their friend's husband, and blind to what is happening to Mother Earth around us.....but that was not my soul's path and a reality I have no understanding or connection to. It is a hard path I must face day after day with insights into a world most have little understanding of. I just hope when my body dies, my soul experiences only the amazing, unbelievable Love I feel when I sleep at night that comforts me when I need it the most regardless whom maybe giving me that Love.
Namaste
